Friday, October 07, 2005

Call 555-SPRM to Become a Donor Now!

I made a phone call to a fellow co-worker today and got her voice-mail. This is how it basically went: "This is Jane Doe and I'm not available right now. Please leave a message and I will return your call. If you are calling with college football tickets, you may call me at home at 555-1234 or on my mobile at 555-9876."

That gave me a brilliant idea! I am going to change my voice mail to basically the same except I am looking for sperm donors. "If you would like to donate sperm, you may reach my RE at 555-SPRM." It's brilliant! However, I'm thinking for as unprofessional I found the voice-mail about tickets, I think someone would surely find my new message a tad inappropriate. Fertiles can be so uptight. I know. I once was one.

Even though the idea may have crossed my mind, at this point, Jerry has got to come to terms with this "Male Factor" thing. He has taken the expected position that I'm sure many men side with when faced with the fact that HIS sperm is just not able to cut it and potentially someone else's might. What makes this harder for him is that up to a year ago, there was no male factor.

For Jerry, this raises more than just a concern about what has always been the inside joke of the male populance, which is the ability the little guys have in swimming. He fears that he may never feel that it's HIS baby if we were to pursue and find success in the use of a donor for an IUI. I cannot even fathom such a thought. To me, any baby foolishly left unattended long enough for me to sneak it home would in a instance become mine. That's why I could easily entertain adoption. Unfortunately, the fact is that at this time with Jerry voicing without question how uncomfortable he is with a donor, he has nixed adoption as an option.

I know that it is prudent for me at this time to back off. Jerry has a tendency to dig in, much like E's recent stand with Mare. To Jerry's relief, we currently are under no restrictions, eg the Pill, a drug-induced schedule, etc. We actually get to go back to the old standby, and that's doin' it the old-fashioned way, at least until we decide what type of intervention we will need IF we should need it.

I left Jerry with this thought to mull until we meet with our RE on the 24th and that is being a father is more than DNA, and he knows that in his head. It's his heart that needs to be convinced. Case in point: a friend of mine has a son from a relationship with her high-school sweetheart, Rob. 10 years later, she married her soul-mate, Tom. She considers Tom her son's dad. Rob, the biological father, was the sperm donor. I found that very profound. I can only hope Jerry does, too.

1 Punches:

At 8:16 AM, Anonymous thalia said...

If the male factor only recently became an issue, is there a chance that you can do something about it? Detox, vitamins etc? I've seen some good info on people getting (some)improvement with nutrition. Zita West's book talks about it.

In any case, it sounds like you're on the long view for this discussion with Jerry. That sounds like the right option. I can only imagine how hard it is for him to come to terms with this news. Does he have anyone to talk to other than you?


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