Sunday, September 25, 2005


Due to computer glitches; Max's inability to humor himself for longer than 5 minutes; and complete exhaustion, I have let the past few days go without comment as if they were uneventful. They were not.

Wednesday p.m.: Max's caregiver confessed that Max's inability to get potty-trained is wearing her down. She suggested a change in scenery may do him so good. Also, she delivered an unpleasant surpise by announcing that if we did get pregnant, she would not have room for a baby. The news is a blow.

Thursday a.m.: My RE appt was "productive." I have one 22mm on my left and five 15-18mm on my right. I was given a gentle reminder that with the number of follicles in waiting, there is an increased risk for multiples, and I need to be aware that selective reduction may be a probability. I responded that yes, in my head, I know that more than 3 babies can be very sick babies, but in my heart I would find such a decision very difficult. Let's worry about getting a positive first.

Thursday p.m.: Jerry and I struggle to remember how to do the trigger shot. I resort to the web. What was life like before the computer became as common as having milk in the fridge!

I skip to Saturday a.m.: Jerry and I spent the night in the big city as he had to be at the RE's clinic by 7:15a.m. Max stayed at Grandma's this time. The hotel Jerry picked, though conveniently close to the clinic, was rather suspect. I have a hard enough time with hotels, with all the black-light surprises the news gives us. I'm glad I didn't bring mine. I counted 4 pubes on the bathroom floor and the tub, though probably as clean as it could get, was stained from years (decades) of hard water. I had another moment of where I was thankful I had showered Friday before we had left in an effort to cut back on the amount of crap packed into a suitcase.

Jerry got up first and walked to the clinic and returned within the hour. I got myself ready (makeup/hair) and also walked to the clinic. After a short wait, Dr. D, who is Dr. M's partner arrived for the IUI. She gave the bad news that Jerry's count/motility were still down and that we may want to look seriously at moving onto IVF if this does not work. Her announcement again reminds me of how the planets must be aligned just right for any couple to get pregnant, including those couples considered "fertile."

The IUI itself was more uncomfortable than the first and as I clenched up, Dr. D. apologized explaining that she had to "get them up as far as possible." As a result of the procedure I was unable to enjoy the little bit of furniture/appliance shopping we did afterwards. If you know me, then you would know that has to be alot of pain to keep me from shopping for ANYTHING.

My RE also believes in the "little" plug for post-procedure. If you have not heard of this, it is a surgical sponge incased in one of those condom-type protectors used for the ultrasound wands, and tied off with a string. The sponge is approximately the size of a golf-ball going in and a basketball coming out. Not really, but you try it and see what you think. Either way, it sucks!

I start the progesterone supps on Tuesday. They have scheduled the pg test for 10/8. I will have a few things to keep me busy until then. Our builder has completed the walls and floors of the basement and the floor of the garage. The next step in building looks to be the framing. We still do not have electricity or a well but we finally have been assigned an address.

Also, Jerry wants me to get things "smoothed over" with Max's caregiver. She claimed to him that she had no intention for us to find Max someplace else to go. Even if she and I came to be on common ground, it does not change the fact that Max cries almost every morning when he has to go. Let me clarify that his unhappiness is not due to any neglect or mistreatment. He just doesn't function well under stress, and the stress he has been getting from her is the constant drill of going to the bathroom. He's just not ready and everyone, including us, needs to back down.

And there it is, the past few days in a nutshell. Whoda thunk that what was real drama at the moment could come down to just a few paragraphs in a single blog-post?

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