Who's Freaking Out?

I am one stressed out woman! I feel like I'm on the edge, but of what, I am not sure. It could be due to one of many recent factors, and unfortunately, I am not known for my tolerance, diplomacy or ability to stay calm.

It could be due to the fact my job allows me to interact almost daily with people who amaze me with the ability to make what should be a very simple task into rocket science.

Maybe it's due to the realization we are building a house. A hole has been dug and the contract has been signed. It's too late to look back now. Instead I'm going through worst-case scenerios: what if they can't find water? what if the water isn't potable? what if they put the power transformer right in the middle of the future lane? what if the dairy farm 1/2 mi. away decides to become corporate? what if the fricken' sky falls!? Snap out of it!

However, my stress may all be building from trying to figure out what I'm going to do on our next IUI cycle. Dr. V., the local OB, is NOT giving me the warm fuzzy I was getting from Dr. M, our RE. IUI is not his specialty, delivering the outcome is. He's much closer: 10 minutes compared to 2 1/2 hours. As far as our pocketbook goes, it's iffy. Overall the US, labwork, and actual procedure are higher priced than Dr. M. BUT, I'm not forking out the big $$ for gas if I stay local; OR losing a half-day of work 2x a week...aaak!

I have to work this out in my mind and soon. I think my stress maybe a little exacerbated by a little PMS (finally!). Who da' thunk anyone who is trying to get pg would be so pumped to get their period! I'm just praying no little cysty blobs on the ole' ovaries! You know on an US, the image of an ovary with a cyst looks like an egg, sunny-side up? I think I'm ranting. If you have ever been a fan of the Seinfeld show, you would remember the episode where Jerry's character is having to deal with his agent who tells Jerry as he's going on stage to do his stand-up routine that the pilot of his next flight is in the audience. He doesn't understand why she has just told him this, and she says that she didn't want him "freaking out." Later in the episode, he screams, "I'm freaking out! I'm freaking out!" THAT phrase goes through my head ALL day!

You know what? With that big new hole dug where our house is going to sit overlooks an old river valley 100' below and I'm going to tell Jerry that I want to go up there with Max tonight with some fast food and have a picnic. A little diversion is called for and I think that might be the ticket.