Monday, January 02, 2006

It's not good news

My beta was only 63. It should have been at least 88 ideally. Nurse W. said she has seen it go either way, but I need to be realistic.

I knew it wasn't going to be good news. I test again Friday.

************

Edited to add: Just as sure as those little embies are dying, I am, too. The more info I find on "doubling" the more reality sinks in that a miscarriage is inevitable. Bless you, Cricket, for trying to find the bright spot in this, but right now I really don't see one.

26 Punches:

At 8:04 AM, Anonymous Dooneybug said...

Hang in there DD. I hope things work out for you.

Thinking of you and many hugs your way...

 
At 8:30 AM, Anonymous Alexa said...

Oh sweetie. I am so sorry, I know how scared you must be. I will say that HcG doesn't increase steadily--it could very well still double in the "48-72 hr" magic time frame, and just not have gotten there by 48 hours. I hope that is the case, but this just sucks, regardless. I cannot tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this right now. Let me know if there is anything I can do.

 
At 8:43 AM, Blogger Suz said...

Oh, DD, I'm so sorry. I really hope that things turn around and am thinking of you.

 
At 8:50 AM, Blogger Cricket said...

DD, I am sorry about the news.

Let me say, as a former lab person who ran such tests often (betas as my "golden touch" specialty), that numbers vary considerably run to run, day to day. Labs go by a 2SD (standard deviation) system, plus include 2.5SDs/farther out in certain cases.

So, I am saying that 63 may well be within 2.5SDs of the true number (which could have been in the vicinity of 88, plus consider that 44 could have been reading high, b/c numbers at the very low and very high ends of testing are difficult to acertain.) It could have been an off kilter run that wasn't bad enough to discard completely, b/c discarding/redoing runs is quite expensive.

IF people do it by the numbers. Doctors do, too. It's wrong. A given number on a given day isn't the whole picture. People say the numbers don't lie, but they do. There are lots of variables. No value is true alone; it is relative to other values.

 
At 9:23 AM, Blogger Catizhere said...

DD, when I calculated my doubling time, it was at some ungodly number like 92 hours... yet, here I am PUPO at 11 weeks today.

Try not to let the #'s rule your thinking. I'm sorry you're so scared right now & believe me, I'm scared too. But, we're all here for you.

 
At 9:28 AM, Anonymous Kris said...

I can just imagine how scared you are- but I have to say I agree with everyone else. Don't give up on those little guys in there! I am sure they haven't given up on you!!!

 
At 9:33 AM, Anonymous Mary Scarlet said...

DD, I understand why you're upset but hopefully your next test will bring more encouraging news. Hang in there. Cricket's comment is great, and hopefully reassuring. I'm sorry, and I'm thinking of you.

 
At 9:58 AM, Blogger K&M said...

DD,
Try to hang in there. I know its hard, but I will keep fingers and toes crossed for you.

Hugs,
Kate

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger Nico said...

Oh no! DD, I am so sorry that your beta didn't double as hoped.

I know you've probably kicked Hope right out the door, but the rest of us are hanging onto her for you. Hoping that either, as Cricket said, there was something wrong with one or both of the test results, or that your embryo is just a little on the slow side and will have picked up speed by Friday.

Hoping with all my heart.

 
At 11:14 AM, Anonymous Orodemniades said...

I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.

 
At 11:43 AM, Anonymous mm said...

I can understand why you don't want to hope right now. So let us do it for you. Hang in there.

 
At 1:36 PM, Blogger April said...

DD, Thinking of you.
Sending you so much love and support.

I am so incredibly sorry.

 
At 1:42 PM, Anonymous Molly said...

I'm hoping for you, DD.

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger Pamplemousse said...

I am hanging on and hoping for you, my dear.

 
At 3:58 PM, Anonymous thalia said...

DD it's clearly not good news. But it might not be disastrous news. I'm so sorry you have to go through yet another period of tense waiting. Keeping my fingers crossed and sending you lots of warm thoughts.

 
At 4:44 PM, Blogger LeggyP said...

DD- I'm sorry its not what you'd hoped for. But we'll still keep some hope alive for you here out in the Internets. I'm sorry you have to go through this scary time.

 
At 4:53 PM, Anonymous S. said...

Oh. Oh my. I am so, so sorry. I am so hoping for you that Cricket's take on things is spot on. Hope is still lingering, I think. Don't send her on her way just yet.

 
At 7:53 PM, Blogger PortLairge said...

Hopefully Friday will bring a higher number. Sending positive thoughts your way.

 
At 8:00 PM, Blogger daysgoby said...

Thinking of you.

 
At 2:00 AM, Blogger Firebrand said...

Sending lots of positive energy and light with hope that the numbers were indeed skewed more than a bit. I know it's so hard right now, but try to find some bit of positive thinking and hang on with all you have...I'm a firm believer that medicine is more than just body alone and that the spirit can contribute greatly to the outcome.

Thinking of you and hoping for the best...

 
At 4:49 AM, Anonymous B. Mare said...

Oh DD, I have a huge lump in my throat for you. Thinking of you honey- hang in there.

 
At 7:46 AM, Blogger scissorbill said...

Oh no, DD. I'm so sorry. Try to stay sane until Friday. I'll keep you in my prayers.

 
At 7:47 AM, Anonymous joie said...

DD, I'm sorry about your low numbers, but you're still PUPO. I still have hope for you. I will be thinking of you all week.

 
At 8:29 AM, Anonymous Lala said...

Hi DD: not sure if I've commented here before but now sure seems like the time. Hang on, we're all pulling for you and we'll be here either way. I'm hoping for the best though.

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

I'm sorry to hear this-- but we're all thinking about you and hoping things turn about.

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger The Queen Mama said...

DD, I have faith that this could still turn out well. Will be keeping you in my prayers. Peace and hugs to you, dear.

 

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