Thursday, May 18, 2006

No. 190 - In Homage...

...to two of my favorite, non-girlybits blogs: The Peevery and M.I.L.D.E.W.:

SmallTown aired a “how to” on local television regarding our new traffic round-abouts. Go get a taped copy and watch it every day until you figure it out! And here’s a tip: YIELD does not mean STOP. That’s why Yield signs are yellow and not red just in case you are illiterate as well, dumbass.

Putting down the window of your car 3” while you smoke does NOT qualify as trying to be a good parent to your two small children sitting in the backseat.

See those lighted signs in the hallway with the letters E. X. I. T.? They indicate where the stairwells are…so stop bothering me while I am trying to work (blog) by asking me where the stupid stairs are.

In the same vein: my open window to the hallway is an imposition to me and not meant for your convenience as this was the only office space available to me. It is not for you to look into every time you go by; it’s not a drive-up window for supplies that belong to me; and if I ever see you look through and down to my desk again I will report you to the Compliance Officer for a HIPAA violation. Nosy bastard.

There really should be a warning on laxatives against combining a dose of said laxatives with 16 oz of white-chocolate mocha the following morning.

Your speech at the catholic school “mandatory” meeting (aka We Want Your Money) about how kindergarten enrollment is down and stating humorously to the crowd “you need to have more kids” was, unfortunately for you and your A/R department, the only part that burned itself into my memory.

I don't care if you are my son's grandfather and my husband's father. Using derogatory language because you are a close-minded, insensitve, loud-mouthed bigot in front of my son will be your problem until you go to your grave (and probably in the therinafter). It will never be my son's.

When you tried to throw this Mommy bear off your scent by saying, “We’ll be fine” after I called you at 8:30 at your friend’s house where you took X two hours earlier (who still hadn’t had supper), you really should have known better. But hopefully I made it abundantly clear when I responded with “It’s not YOU I’m worried about,” and won’t make that mistake again.

It’s no wonder it takes 6-10 hours for me to get my Blogger comments to finally show in my yahoo email account – but only seconds to go to my gmail account – as Blogger is a Google product. Blogger, your days are numbered, and this time I mean it. Suggestions for a new webserver are welcome.

Never have wiser words been spoken (compliments of The Peevery): Suck it.

9 Punches:

At 12:54 PM, Anonymous Kath said...

Dear DD, you said it so well. Down with stupidity and thoughtlessness and nosiness and all other such vices. (But let's keep the fun ones, shall we?)

I like that flash in your eyes. Very becoming!

 
At 1:16 PM, Blogger jennster said...

BUT.... my comments go to my yahoo account and they come right away *knocks on wood*

 
At 1:39 PM, Blogger Cricket said...

Blogger--->Yahoo sucks it. You took the bloggity words right out of my mouth. Thing is, I have tried Gmail. I had an account and never use it because of the confusing format.

Yesterday, I was doing tests with Yahoo to see how long a message back to myself would take and, of course, that was mere seconds, so I knew I could rule out Yahoo's receiving. For me, it has been running 9-11 hours behind. Ridiculous.

Hear! Hear! on the rest of that stuff. I have major issues with those, under the guise of being nice, stop to allow someone to turn left into our line of traffic. It is a rearending waiting to happen.

 
At 2:28 PM, Blogger Well-heeled mom said...

I have peeked in at MILDEW before and love it. Since I am blessed with a great MIL, I have nothing really to add there. Now if it were about mothers? That's a whole different story.......

 
At 2:56 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

Based upon your in-laws, you will enjoy this story. My MIL taught my 3 1/2 year old to call her vagina the same word used to refer to a cat. At first my husband did nothing because Emma never said it. Boy howdy did things change when she was taking a bath and talked to him about her p.... His mother told him that when she was a girl (she's 80 now) that this what "they all" called it. I was upset by the whole thing, but I have to admit that it makes me laugh, too. My smirk will completely disappear when she says that in church, around my parents, etc... :) Life with family is an adventure to say the least.

I have the same trouble with my Yahoo account. I had no idea about the connection. SOB!

 
At 2:08 AM, Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Tetchy today, are we????

 
At 9:05 AM, Anonymous TB said...

Thanks for the links. I'm with you sistah!

 
At 9:24 AM, Blogger kati said...

now, I have to admit, I love the four-way stops in this country. My feeling is you won't agree with me on this?

But, I also love white chocolate mochas! Hmmmmm.

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

I recommend TypePad. Oh, and "Yield" also does not mean the same thing as "Merge," but the difference appears to be too subtle for many drivers.

 

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