No. 190 - In Homage...

...to two of my favorite, non-girlybits blogs: The Peevery and M.I.L.D.E.W.:

SmallTown aired a “how to” on local television regarding our new traffic round-abouts. Go get a taped copy and watch it every day until you figure it out! And here’s a tip: YIELD does not mean STOP. That’s why Yield signs are yellow and not red just in case you are illiterate as well, dumbass.

Putting down the window of your car 3” while you smoke does NOT qualify as trying to be a good parent to your two small children sitting in the backseat.

See those lighted signs in the hallway with the letters E. X. I. T.? They indicate where the stairwells are…so stop bothering me while I am trying to work (blog) by asking me where the stupid stairs are.

In the same vein: my open window to the hallway is an imposition to me and not meant for your convenience as this was the only office space available to me. It is not for you to look into every time you go by; it’s not a drive-up window for supplies that belong to me; and if I ever see you look through and down to my desk again I will report you to the Compliance Officer for a HIPAA violation. Nosy bastard.

There really should be a warning on laxatives against combining a dose of said laxatives with 16 oz of white-chocolate mocha the following morning.

Your speech at the catholic school “mandatory” meeting (aka We Want Your Money) about how kindergarten enrollment is down and stating humorously to the crowd “you need to have more kids” was, unfortunately for you and your A/R department, the only part that burned itself into my memory.

I don't care if you are my son's grandfather and my husband's father. Using derogatory language because you are a close-minded, insensitve, loud-mouthed bigot in front of my son will be your problem until you go to your grave (and probably in the therinafter). It will never be my son's.

When you tried to throw this Mommy bear off your scent by saying, “We’ll be fine” after I called you at 8:30 at your friend’s house where you took X two hours earlier (who still hadn’t had supper), you really should have known better. But hopefully I made it abundantly clear when I responded with “It’s not YOU I’m worried about,” and won’t make that mistake again.

It’s no wonder it takes 6-10 hours for me to get my Blogger comments to finally show in my yahoo email account – but only seconds to go to my gmail account – as Blogger is a Google product. Blogger, your days are numbered, and this time I mean it. Suggestions for a new webserver are welcome.

Never have wiser words been spoken (compliments of The Peevery): Suck it.