Wednesday, May 10, 2006

No. 184 - It's a Girl

I had a daughter. I have a daughter.

A Daughter.

My little girl died November 2004. She would’ve just celebrated her 1st Birthday as her due date was Mother’s Day 2005.

Her name is Vivienne Elise.

I miss her with all my heart.

31 Punches:

At 1:47 PM, Blogger Cricket said...

Oh DD, I had such a rotten day, but I'm sitting here sobbing for you and your loss. I'm amazed at your bravery getting through this and learning more about her. What a beautiful name.

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger jennster said...

i am so sorry. :(

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger N said...

Oh DD, sweet DD. Mother of two. Mother of Baby May and X. It's the first time I ever read those two posts. Oh my heart just hurts. It's baby May.....

I don't cry...much...but I did cry for Baby May. Vivienne Elise. This is so hard. I can picture you looking at "her" room in the new house. She would have loved it I am sure. And X would have loved her too I am sure about that too. And Mr. DD and you of course too. She must have felt that she was loved - with all your heart.

I am so so sorry about your loss of Baby May. She was beautiful but not meant to be on this planet.

Sending hugs....many...I hope you know that I love you (and this doesn't come easy out of the none US citizens mouth...if you know what I mean).

You are such a strong woman, you are. I am striving to be as strong and only hope that if I ever have to deal with the loss of a baby that I will be able to do.

Hugs again.

PS: Blogger doesn't let me post this post so I ams ending it by mail instead :-S

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger N said...

Apparently blogger didn't have anything against me personally...:-S

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger soralis said...

I am so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine.

Take care.

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger K&M said...

Oh damn...I am so so so sorry. Those little hands and feet...it just tore my heart out. It sucks to be the mother of babies we never met. My twins would have been due Friday, so you are not alone. I am here for you. I just wish we were closer so we could go mourn together.

And her name is beautiful.

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger DinosaurD said...

Ah...I cry at the drop of a hat these days so I guess you can tell what I'm doing right now.
At least we both have boys to hug on mother's day, right? (Provided they will stand still long enough).
No one ever tells you that being a mother can be so hard, do they?
Hugs to Vivienne.
Ah, I can't even do the word verification right, here goes again.
DinoD

 
At 3:16 PM, Anonymous Leggy said...

I'm sorry. I never did find out the sex of the three from my 2 miscarriages. I'm not sure if it would make it better or worse. It brings closure (whatever that is) but it makes it all the more real.

Thinking of you...

 
At 3:29 PM, Blogger Spanglish said...

You're in my thoughts.

 
At 3:49 PM, Blogger EJW said...

What a beautiful name. I'm so sorry.

 
At 4:21 PM, Blogger Alli said...

I am so sorry for your loss - my heart goes out to you and your family - and thank you for your supportive words.

 
At 5:52 PM, Blogger One Mother's Journey said...

I know how painful that is. I'm so sorry.

 
At 5:59 PM, Anonymous Kim said...

Vivienne Elise...
Magical name. I'm sorry for your pain and I'm sending healing thoughts.

 
At 6:09 PM, Blogger JJ said...

I"m so sorry.

 
At 6:37 PM, Blogger Just another Jenny said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the sorrow, you are in my thoughts.

 
At 6:54 PM, Blogger Well-heeled mom said...

I'm so sorry, DD.

 
At 7:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow...at first I was shocked and horrified over the handprint/footprint. But you know...that does give you proof (not that you really need it) that she did exist...that she was alive, and loved, and dreamt of. The shock of having someone do that is a bit much...but...the validation for later...I don't know, maybe it helps?

There are no words to express how much my heart breaks for you, and for Mr. DD, and for X right now. But you're on your way to better, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.

~Tracy
(from aboutdamntime.net)

 
At 3:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear DD, that phone call or letter must have taken all the strength you had. I'm so sorry. Reading the story again brought it all back. I'm thinking about you and your little girl. What a beautiful name you chose for her.
-- Kath (I'm having trouble with your site today)

 
At 4:29 AM, Blogger the ockers said...

I am so sorry DD. Life is so unfair for some of us. Vivienne is a gorgeous name. I'm thinking of you and I understand your pain and anguish. much ((hugs)) xC

 
At 4:33 AM, Blogger the ockers said...

I am so sorry DD. Life is so unfair for some of us. Vivienne is a gorgeous name. I'm thinking of you and I understand your pain and anguish. much ((hugs)) xC

 
At 6:14 AM, Blogger Nico said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. I think Vivienne Elise is a beautiful name, for one who I'm sure had a beautiful soul, just like you.

 
At 6:27 AM, Blogger Trish said...

I'm sorry DD. What a mix of feelings you must be having right now. Wonder about her, wonder about why, wonder about the what if's.
I've pondered them for my daughter to0, due date 5-17-06. We'll plant a tree for her next week in her honor. I'll say a prayer for Vivienne Elise as well.

 
At 6:47 AM, Anonymous Erin said...

Oh DD, how very, very sad. Vivienne Elise is a beautiful name for your daughter. I wish so much that she was here to hear you saying it to her. My heart goes out to you through all of this.

 
At 7:20 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 7:42 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

DD, sorry, I deleted the comment above because I orignially wrote a short one-liner about how sorry I was for your loss. My response was a bit trite, but really it was to avoid writing how I really feel Your original posts from your loss reminded me so much of my own loss that I was reduced to sobs.

We lost ours at 18 wks and there were no tests done, so we don't know why. After the D&C I felt like it hadn't really happened. It still feels like it was just surgery and not really a baby. I think that it would have been hard to see the footprints, especially in the manner that they were taken, but I would do anything to have some validation of the life that was inside me other than the words "spontaneous abortion" which is the medical term they use to describe my pregnancy.

I am truly, sincerely with all my heart sorry for you. I wish I could say that the pain goes away, but I'm not sure that it does. I am sending you much love your way at this difficult time.

 
At 7:46 AM, Anonymous mm said...

That's a beautiful name you chose. I'm so very sorry. Thinking of you...

 
At 8:00 AM, Blogger kati said...

DD, you've chosen a beautiful name for your daughter. I'm so, so sorry about your loss.

 
At 8:18 AM, Anonymous erin said...

Oh, DD. I'm so sorry. I was in court all day yesterday and just saw this now. I wish I'd been here sooner.

 
At 10:11 AM, Blogger Firebrand said...

Words cannot express how my heart aches for you...after miscarrying myself, I know the pain all too well. I am so very, very sorry... *hugs*

 
At 2:48 PM, Blogger Sunnie said...

Wow. I hope that you have the strength you need to make it through mother's day this year. Lean on us if you need to. I am so sorry.

Rest in peace Vivienne Elise.

 
At 3:59 PM, Anonymous TB said...

I don't have the words. My heart is breaking for you.

 

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