Monday, May 01, 2006

No. 176 - A.R.T.?! Bah! Who Needs It?

As the reality of my fertile-now-infertile status soaks into my head (and heart), I have been struggling with finding the “bright side” of it all. I have actually found a few things to list:

1) No more deer-dodging on my early morning drives to The Metro for 10 minute dildocam dates.

2) I no longer pick up a Pepsi and have to convince myself I should have water instead.

3) We are considering trading our V8, enviro-unfriendly, soccer-mom SUV, which we bought in preparation of the Brood-That-Never-Will-Be a couple years ago, for something a little more practical for a modest family of three.

4) No more prenatal vitamins! Oh, but how my nails will suffer. *sigh*

5) We can finally plan a vacation without having to worry about flying while pregnant or being in the throes of a stimulated cycle.

6) The other medical attention I want no longer needs to be put off, which includes, but is not limited to:
--> Mild depression for which my GP suggested an AD for two years ago but I opted out since it wasn’t recommended “if you are pregnant, or intend to become pregnant”.
--> Lasix. Again, due to the all the changes that occur in pregnancy, my optometrist said to wait at least six months after a pregnancy.
--> As a last hurrah in the stirrups for the year, I have scheduled a PAP for next Wednesday. Thank you, RE Clinic, for reminding me I should get one scheduled.
--> Accutane. Ah, sweet accutane. I did a four month treatment the year I got married and was thrilled with the results. Eight years later and after riding great hormonal tidal waves, another round would be wholly appreciated. I still find it slightly ironic that my insurance will cover treatment of zits, depression and a routine screening, but not infertility.

7) And finally, some odd miscellanea like dropping acid and weekend hits from a home-made bong can be penciled back into my palm pilot.

Feel free to add your own ideas or suggestions, because quite frankly, this list doesn’t really make me feel much better.

14 Punches:

At 11:54 AM, Anonymous Erin said...

Soft Cheeses. Behold the power of cheese.

Oh! And drinking like a Russian sailor at the next Confab.

At 12:30 PM, Blogger Well-heeled mom said...

I have one! I always thought it would be cool to have a hummingbird hovering over a flower tattooed around my belly button, but feared that it would look more like a crow if I were to ever become pregnant.

No, I wasn't high when I came up with that one.

At 12:51 PM, Blogger DinosaurD said...

What about coffee (ah, smell the aroma)? Well, I guess that only works if you're a big coffee drinker. (There is always the alcohol thing but probably not very useful if depression is hanging around).
I had to say thank-you for your incredible graciousness (makes you sound like royalty, doesn't it?) on my last post. If I were you, I would have offered to be on the aggressive end of a tazer.
Take care DD - I will try to think of more pluses (one of mine was finally divesting myself of all the baby stuff which was really difficult to do but became strangely liberating after all was said and done).

At 1:07 PM, Blogger Stacy said...

Wearing cute, skinny jeans. If you're not thin enough to fit in them, you now have the option of dieting. Your body belongs exclusively to you now and you can do what you wish with it. So, have a glass of wine and congratulate yourself on how damn gorgeous you are- inside and out.

At 1:09 PM, Blogger jennster said...

you can drink and get drunk! really, stupid, blog while drunk, DRUNK! and you get lots of random people you don't know to give you hugs! like me.

At 1:11 PM, Blogger soralis said...

It's amazing how many lists we can make and yet it still doesn't make it feel any better.

I wish you all the best and hope some day your lists do help.

Take care

At 1:21 PM, Blogger Thalia said...

You can not only plan holidays, you can plan to go to places in the malarial zone.

Coffee, chocolate, diet coke, tuna (sushi, yum, but not sure if they have sushi in nebraska), running, the amount of money you will save, time for X, time for you and your husband.

Sorry, I know none of these are any kind of replacement for what you've lost, but it's just a little tiny part of an upside to not going through treatment again.

At 1:51 PM, Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

Tying a shoe without calling in reinforcements.

At 6:21 PM, Blogger Heather said...

I'm sure what I say probably won't make you feel any beter either, so I'm just going to send you good wishes and the hope that where ever your path leads you from here it ends with peace.

At 9:22 PM, Blogger kati said...

i like your list, I really do. Wish it would cheer all of us up!

At 4:49 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

I think Mexico was considering decriminalizing marijuana - so how about a mexican vacation filled with margaritas and pot? And before you go you get a tattoo and a navel ring.

By the way, if you want a doctor recommendation for Lasix let me know.

At 5:33 AM, Blogger One Mother's Journey said...

Just the fact that your life won't happen in 2 week increments anymore is got to be freeing... That said, I'm sorry your having to even think of a list like this.

At 6:37 AM, Anonymous Erin said...

I see Mexico was already mentioned--I was going to say Holland, just to go somewhere a little different but for the same reasons. Of course, Mexico also has good beverages, which is another thing.

I completely hear you on the SUV. We have an Explorer, purchased nearly 5 years ago when we thought we'd have it filled with kids. The other day, we were talking about how we'll need to replace it soon (it's actually 9 years old, we bought it used) and J mentioned buying a hybrid SUV. I said something to the effect of how they are smaller than the Explorer and how were we to fit 4 kids in there? He just looked at me. Old habits die hard.

At 7:23 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

Definately Holland!! LOL

If I think of any additions, I'll let you know!


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home