Tuesday, May 02, 2006

No. 177 - Myth Buster

For several months, I have had the above tagline: Former Super Model, Mother to Boy-Genius, and Married to One of the 50 Sexiest Men Alive, just trying to live a normal life in spite of being beaten to the mat by Secondary Infertility.

Recently, I've received a rash of emails wanting to know if I really am a former super model. As much I wish I could say I was a former super model, I am not. I was once propositioned about 10 years ago to become a lingerie model by some guy hanging out at a hair show for which I had volunteered (it was the only way I could afford to get my hair to no longer be green from home-coloring kits). I even took his card and drove to The Metro to check out his "studio". Needless to say, it all turned out to be a little sketchy. Plus, no model - super or not - is going to locate her butt to Small Town, Nebraska.

And while I'm at it, my son is no boy-genius. At nearly 4 1/2 he refuses to try to read, but he can fool me each time I pull out a book as he usually has the story memorized so I believe he actually may be "reading". However, I am quite impressed with his ability to associate things into his memory. When he sees a Cola delivery truck, he can tell by the logo what kind it is. Same with beer. It could be a B*d, M1ller, He1n1ken, etc. and he will point and say, "Look, Mommy, that says 'Beer'. I don't like Beer." I should state for the record that we are not beer-drinkers. Our neighbors who have two girls that X goes and plays with? Well, their Mommy drinks enough beer for the whole neighborhood...but who am I to judge.

Lastly, Mr. DD is not by any stretch of the imagination one of the 50 sexiest men alive. Unless, you find Jay Len0 sexy, because he has been told he looks like him a dozen times. He was even stopped by some lady in a Vegas casino because in her drunken state, she was sure Mr. DD was Jay. However, I use to tease Mr. DD in his younger days that he looked like this guy. He didn't find that funny for two reasons: 1) the nature of his notoriaty; and 2) somewhere along the bloodline, they are related. And as I look at that picture, it's still rather uncanny the resemblance.

The myth has been busted. Ladies (and gentlemen?), you have nothing to be envious of. The only part of that tagline that's true is I'm just trying to live a normal life after being beaten to the mat by secondary infertility. Anyone got some smelling salts?

8 Punches:

At 9:16 AM, Blogger Cricket said...

I was supposed to go have a try at modeling in 1988 then my dad had a heart attack, went to visit him instead, and lost my head of steam. Probably for the better - my not going, not the heart attack.

My son, who is known far and wide for his lack of interest in reading (although he has gotten much better), was quite the advertising reader as well. He could associate logos with products very easily. I actually saw this ability listed on a pre-reading skills inventory I read when he was in K. Consider it a paver on the road to reading officially.

(Also, are you sending him to school as a young 5? When does his birthday fall? I held J with his mid-September birthday, mostly wanting him to be older/wiser at graduation, but also to not be the youngest in his class. Glad I held him, considering his sub-par academic interest.)

Ex looks like Steve McQueen. If you take away the aura, he's not that good looking, however the aura helps. We were informed of this resemblence 8 years ago, I saw it, too, and didn't really embrace it, but he got off on it. I think the aura he adapted assisted greatly in the demise of our marriage. Now he drives a mustang and he's much happer, I think. I knew him pre-Steve McQueen, so I didn't think him very flashy. He resented me for it. Strange dynamics.

Sorry for the essay. Pensive mood. Trying for both of us to be a diversion from secondary infertility and the need for smelling salts.

At 10:36 AM, Blogger jennster said...

LMFA_ just lie!! not only was i once a supermodel, i once played one on tv! ha!

At 10:51 AM, Anonymous Kath said...

So you LIED to us?!?!?!?! What a shocker.

Tee hee, "That says 'beer'" -- at least he's got a vital male skill down pat already!

I just read your last post too, and I can't stop thinking about it. This just sucks, DD.

At 11:15 AM, Blogger Catizhere said...

Former Ball room dancer, Billiard Champion, self-piercer isn't enough for these peopele??? JEEZ!

At 12:59 PM, Blogger Well-heeled mom said...

Why on earth wouldn't a former super model want to live in Nebraska? If I was a former anything famous, I would retire somewhere that I could be inconspicuous! Once upon a time, I was a B*dweiser ring girl in a boxing tournament. Classy, huh?

I think I remember learning in a college class a million years ago that what your son is doing is the beginning steps of reading. He may achieve genious status yet!

At 3:36 PM, Blogger MAMB said...

All of my illusions have been shattered...I just don't know if I can continue to enjoy your blog knowing all those things aren't true...sigh...

At 6:22 PM, Blogger One Mother's Journey said...

How shocking.... ah hell, I still love ya.

At 12:37 AM, Blogger N said...

:-D. Ok so yuo are not a super modell. Thanks for clearing that up :-D

And anyways what's wrong in Nebraska. I heard they have some beautiful "views" there. In fact after I located Nebraska on the map (hey I'm from Europe), no I'm just kidding I know it was there somewhere close to Colorado....right?....I definitely plan to visit this wonderful state. Maybe you can give us some more educational information about Nebraska?



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