Friday, April 07, 2006

No. 147 - Cry Me A River

I am a frazzled cluster-f*ck of nerves. I’m just now working myself up about this IVF, which I had been so proud of for not getting emotional about a several days ago. In the past week, I have cried to nearly every ballad on the radio. I can’t watch TV as it seems some asshole in marketing somewhere thought putting kids (especially baby-toddler combos) in commercials was a grand idea.

I’m having a harder time than “normal” with pregnancy blogs. It seems those who actually did get a pregnancy to stick around from November/December are now feeling their baby’s kicks. All I can feel is my heart clench up and I pretend the butterflies in my stomach to be those initial first movements of a 20 wk pregnancy. Even sitting down and playing with X makes me weepy.

Tomorrow I have another appointment which will probably result in getting my instructions for triggering and a schedule for the retrieval. Then again, maybe not. Uncertainty is certainly the worst aspect of all of this.

I am also stressing about the house. My goal was to have ours listed for sale by the end of March. It still has not happened. My husband has two areas of the house that until they have been cleared, makes it pointless to even have a realtor go through. In his efforts to move things out, he has created bigger messes in his wake.

A vacation seems like a fantasy. We were supposed to go to Las Vegas two weekends ago, but the seminar that was going to take place earlier in the week had been cancelled. We were going to piggyback our vacation on top of the business trip. We just didn’t see the point of shelling out a couple grand from our own pockets when this IVF and house are eating up our mental, physical and financial resources.

Please don’t tell me things will be OK. I don’t want to cry anymore as I know I’m just feeling sorry for myself. Instead, tell me to suck it up and that I will get through this IVF (a.k.a. HELL). Tell me something funny. You could even wish Mr. DD a Happy Birthday, which is April 8th. I do not have anything to give for his birthday and he insists he doesn’t want anything. If I push, he tells me that I gave him X four years ago and that is the best present he’s had. I only wish that I will be able to give him another.

Personal factoid: There were 40 people in my graduating class of 1985.

14 Punches:

At 12:11 PM, Blogger Catizhere said...

suck it up you MARY-SISSY-WIMP (this is a term my brothers would use)

Everything will be OK.
Happy Birthday Mr DD!!

Lets see, funny? I don't usually *do* funny.....
A horse walks into a bar... oh wait you've heard that one? Ok... A man walks into a bar with a duck. Oh that one too??? Well, how about this one?
Two police officers saw this old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman. As they drove through the streets they kept asking the woman where she lived, all she would say as she stroked the officers arm is "Your Passionate" They drove awhile longer and asked again, again the same response as she stroked his arm "Your Passionate". The officers were getting a little upset so they stopped the car and said to the woman, Look we have driven around this City for two hours and you still haven't told us where you live. She replied I keep trying to tell you: "Your Passin It!"

At 12:33 PM, Anonymous lala said...

I have a joke about the pope, is that offensive??
Suck it up?? Maybe, you'll get there, one way or the other in one piece or in five but I have confidence that you'll get there.

At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Orodemniades said...

Happy Birthday Mr DD!

At 1:46 PM, Blogger Stacy said...

Here's a joke you can tell X.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

I know, dumb. Dumb is good sometimes.

At 1:51 PM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Suck it up, don't you know that those poor Duggars have been trying since October to have another baby and.....nothing.

At 3:08 PM, Blogger Well-heeled mom said...

Once upon a time, MFH and I had a failed adoption. For the longest time I could not look at a baby, and worse, I didn't want to. I didn't want to congratulate or be happy for anyone. My best friend had her baby a few months later, and I held it because when you want a baby and don't have one, everyone thinks you'll feel better if they shove their baby in your face. For hours. I won't tell you things will be okay and I won't tell you to suck it up. Can you have a drink or two? I don't know the rules with IVF.


At 3:13 PM, Anonymous Cricket said...

Insert tap dancing interlude....

Ex's b'day is tomorrow, too. Months ago, as I was browsing the games at Wally World, I saw a board game based on survival skills and being a survivalist. Little cards are drawn by the players and one must decide between 4 multiple choice answers on, for example, how to avoid a killer bee attack.

This game, it absofuckinglutely cracks my ass us as I make fun it him by getting it. Ex will heart it so much, appreciating being able to convey the *important* knowledge to our son.

Okay, tap dance over.

At 5:18 PM, Blogger Demeter said...


Listen to me: This IVF should stick!!

Enough about the pitty party....

Now go and get it!

PS: And don't poke acupuncturist between the eyes. This should be a good one. I know it sucks, but you have to put your action hat on and go for it babe!

At 7:16 PM, Blogger One Mother's Journey said...

okay okay... I got one.

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Tuba Who?
Tuba Toothpaste.

okay, I don't do well under pressure either. I'm thinking about you. :)

At 7:40 PM, Blogger The Queen Mama said...

I'm a lot like Mr. dd in that respect. Take him at his word.

We're celebrating a birthday at our house tomorrow, too! Tater turns 3.

Hormones are hell. Between all the ones you're pumping in preparation for the IVF and the "normal" fluctuations that go along with being late-30s, there's a lot on your plate, hormonally speaking. Sounds like you need a plate of brownies and a good night's sleep.

I'll give you my favorite doofy joke of all time:
Q: How do you tell a happy motorcyclist?
A: By the bugs in his teeth.

At 3:44 AM, Anonymous Kath said...

Happy Birthday, Mr. DD!

Suck it up. You will get through this hell.

Instead of humor, I will share my mother's wisdom with you: "Life is one of the hardest." Nice, eh?

At 5:53 AM, Anonymous Erin said...

Suck it up, you'll get through this. Heck, these days are going to go by anyway, so you might as well be making them count by doing IVF.

And Happy Birthday to Mr DD!

Jokes, jokes...I found a site with infertility jokes. Might not be what you're in the mood for, so I'll just post the link and let you decide whether to go there or not:

At 2:27 PM, Blogger Spanglish said...

For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.

The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.

Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."

At 2:45 PM, Blogger Trish said...

There once was a man from Nantucket.
Whose schlong was so long...

No, you said a joke, not a limerick.

How about some visualization to fill the time. Visualize several nice, plump, juicy, ripe follies.


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