No. 144 - Apparently, I Suck

Remember the niece who recently announced her pregnancy? Well, she (Mary*) and her husband (Joe*) decided to make a trip from their home on the East Coast to visit us here. Plus, the other niece who delivered her baby was coming up as well to Small Town. I was absolutely dreading this weekend. I envisioned sitting down for dinner with New Mommy to my right and Pregnant Woman to my left and silently willing for a stray bullet to take me out quickly and cleanly.

As much as I was dreading the encounter, I was looking forward to seeing Mary. She's a sweet gal who can be quite catty and snarky (you know, in a good way) and you would never know it when she delivers a zinger in her soft, southern draw. By Saturday afternoon, they still hadn't arrived in Small Town even though their flight came in Friday nite. I asked Mr. DD if he had heard from them yet or if his sister had decided to hoard them the entire weekend, as she is wont to do. That's when he told me that Mary miscarried her baby on the flight at 10 weeks exactly.

I feel like an asshole. I remember when we talked to Mary a few weeks ago on the phone and she excitedly told me she was 6 weeks pregnant, and I evilly thought, "don't go out and buy any baby furniture yet".

Bitter Cynic, table of one...

Saturday nite, when I finally got to talk to her alone, she later told me that she had been spotting and cramping for a while and just a week ago had an ultrasound where everything looked normal: growth - check, movement - check, heartrate normal - check. Her doctor gave her the OK to fly. On the flight she said the cramping was horrible, and she even timed the "contractions" to 5 minutes apart. They landed, she went into the airport bathroom soaking from the waist down in blood and passed the placenta/baby in whole. She had no way or means to salvage the "products of conception" and therefore had no choice but to flush it all away. She will never really know what had happened to her baby but has already taken the stand that it was genetically imperfect.

She is surprisingly calm. She and her husband held the new baby and not one tear slipped passed their cheeks. I don't know if she is in shock waiting to get back home before breaking; or if she's just that strong. She even told me she is "fine" as she had been "prepared" for this to happen.

How does one "prepare" for a miscarriage? I want to know that secret, please.



Personal factoid: I have to taken motion sickness medicine before I fly.