Tuesday, April 25, 2006

No. 172 - When I Feel Like Crying, I Think of This:

Today, as most of you know, was Not-the-Beta Day from IVF #2: the Finale. I had mentioned more than once in the past few posts that if the HPTs were negative, I was not going to torture myself by getting the beta done.

"Yep, DD. We have confirmed for you that indeed, you are not pregnant, but your beta looks like it might have reached as high as 7! Isn't that encouraging?"

So, I didn't go to the clinic. But imagine my surprise when one of the nurses called and left a message for me letting me know that they were expecting me for the beta. Awwww. They missed me. Warm fuzzy feelings abound.

I called them back and told Nurse Keri that I was not going in for my beta. It was a waste of my time. You know what she said? "You HAVE to come in for the beta. We have to have a blood test confirmation of the results. You do know that those urine tests are not a 100% accurate, don't you?"

No shit? Really? Let me take a lookeesee here on this box of HPTs: "up to 99% accurate". Hmmm. I would say the HPTs percentages look a whole lot better than my clinic's who ran me through two IUIs, two IVFs and 1/2 of a FET with a maximum beta of 68 to show amongst the 4 1/2 cycles I gave those bastards.

OK. So back to the phone call: "I don't think I need to do all the bloodwork. It's ridiculous that you even think I 'have' to!" I tell Keri. She pacifies me with, "We just need to get a beta. If the numbers are something you should know, we will call you back. Otherwise, if you don't hear from us, you'll know you were right."

Fine. My day was already pretty shitty. What's another $70 to let someone jab me for some blood after the kind of money we have pissed away already. Off I go to the Small Town hospital; wait in line in the lab; and then get the most incompetent phlebo they employ who not only fails to hit a vein, but then proceeds to D.I.G. for it. Over. And. Over. Again. My arm still hurts and that was 8 hours ago.

But when she finally removes the vial of blood, she taps me with a second. What the fuck? "I thought this was just for the HcG?"

"Oh, no. The orders are for the HcG, Estradial and Progesterone levels."

That fucking liar, Keri.

As soon as I leave the hospital I'm on my cell calling the clinic and talking to Keri. "You told me I just needed to do the beta!"

"Yeah. Well. Dr. Blinksalot wanted the complete work-up."

I'm crying (again) and furious. "Do you realize that's another $300 out of our pocket for a goddamn waste of time? It's insult to injury. Don't you think I would be the first to want to believe that maybe, just maybe, I might be pregnant?!"

"I'm really sorry, DD. I know this is very painful (insert snort from me here), but we also need you to call with Cycle Day 1."

"I'm not coming back to the clinic for another cycle. We are done."

"Either way, we will still need you to call on the first day of your period."

They can take their protocols; their stats; the CDC reporting requirements and shove them up their collective cooters. If they want to know when Cycle Day 1 shows up then they'll have to send someone up to check my trashcans because the last thing I'm going to do is call my clinic, who has sucked the last drop of hope from me, and tell them when the most expensive and painful period of my life shows up.

Fuckers.

Oh, by the way, the clinic has not called back. Guess I was right, eh?

24 Punches:

At 8:22 PM, Blogger K&M said...

The suckage refuses to end! I am so sorry, and I don't blame you one damned bit for being pissed. I'd have told them I wasn't going to pay for the other tests. Screw them.

I'm sorry about all of this.

 
At 8:43 PM, Blogger the waiting line said...

Oh DD, I am so sorry.

You HAD to go in for a beta and you HAVE to call on CD1, according to Nurse Keri -- F*CK that!

I can't believe that, to add insult to injury, the plebo dug for your vein. Sh*t you are a much better, stronger person than I. I would have shrieked, told them to stop, and walked out. Ok, ok, I have no idea what I would have done. But, enduring that is too much. I am so sorry you went through that.

Screw your clinic - I agree with you, don't call them on CD1. Those jerks.

 
At 9:00 PM, Blogger Cricket said...

What a total mindfuck.

Okay, you can still crack me up even when it gets deep. I have images of Tom Cruise's guards recently whose job it was to keep the hoards from TomKat's trash.

I think Keri has a new job description.

And you should decline on paying for this BS.

 
At 12:05 AM, Anonymous Kath said...

Dear DD, that is just... incredible. How dare they. How dare they.

I'm enraged and sad and sorry, and wishing I could lift some of this off your shoulders.

Sending you Huge Unbounded Gestures of Support.

 
At 4:15 AM, Blogger Beagle said...

How awful.

If they "need" to know then I think you ought to send them the $300 bill.

It's all so damn unfair!

I am very sorry.

 
At 5:59 AM, Anonymous Erin said...

Adding insult to injury--just what you needed to deal with. I'm so sorry you got screwed like that.

 
At 5:59 AM, Blogger One Mother's Journey said...

I understand that clinics have protocols but seriously adding insult to injury is a bit "beyond". I think you can dispute the $300. bill also. They HAVE to disclose to you what it is they are doing - especially if it's out-of-pocket.

I can understand you not wanting to call on CD1 - but, keep in mind that this cycles failure is really THEIR failure not yours. You gave it your all.

 
At 6:13 AM, Anonymous Molly said...

That story just makes me furious. Especially when you had to put yourself through it and then PAY someone afterwards. Disgusting.

I hope things start looking up for you soon, DD.

 
At 6:34 AM, Blogger Nico said...

Oh. my. God. I really cannot believe that they would throw those extra tests on without confirming with you. As others have said, especially if you're paying for them out of pocket. If you're up for it, dispute away!

Assholes.

 
At 7:11 AM, Anonymous mm said...

Wow. Nurse Keri (and Dr. Blinksalot, for that matter) belongs in the IVF Clinic Assholes Hall of Fame. I'm just speechless and so sorry you had to contend with her at all. Thinking of you...

 
At 7:12 AM, Blogger Milenka said...

Oh, shit. I'm sorry, DD. And more than a little pissy with your ex-clinic for screwing you out of that $300.

 
At 7:53 AM, Anonymous Alexa said...

Ass. Hats. No way should you have to pay for those tests. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I am just so sorry.

 
At 7:59 AM, Blogger Well-heeled mom said...

My veins roll. And they are small and hard to find. So I always get the endure the dig. I am not nice to these people at all. Get me someone competent.

Okay, now you wouldn't know this about me, but I love to dress in leather and wear mostly black. Your weather pixie is really turning me on this morning.

Did I as least get a smirk?

Karen

 
At 8:08 AM, Anonymous Erin said...

The suckiness of this week continues. However, you did write a damn fine blog entry and that's got to count for something, right?

 
At 9:35 AM, Blogger DinosaurD said...

DD -
There is no such thing as "have to" unless you are dealing with law enforcement officials (I'm trusting you're not at that stage yet).
I assume you had no contract with the stupid clinic that required certain blood work or notification of bodily functions so tell them to talk to your lawyer (polite way of saying fuck off).
During the last miscarriage, everytime I went to my doctor, one of the lab people insisted that I give a urine sample - ha-ha-ha. I will always remember the outrage when I consistently told them "no." There was no screaming, yelling or explaining on my part, just "no".
I hate those little Napoleonic morons.
There are some great psychology experiments that illustrate how easy it is to get people to do what you want if they perceive you are in a position of authority. Guess what? The fertility clinic has NO AUTHORITY over you - tell them to get lost (I can do it for you if you'd like).
DinoD

 
At 12:26 PM, Blogger Demeter said...

I hate fertility clinics and their protocols. They have no sensitivity towards the suffering that goes through all IF women. DD, I am sorry this has not worked out for you. I wish I could say anything of comfort to you, but I know it won't suffice.

 
At 1:10 PM, Blogger Pamplemousse said...

DD, I am just catching up with your sad, bad news. Unbelievable how insensitive these clinic staff can be. Take care of you, sweetie.

 
At 1:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know what to say. What an awful story and YOU SHOULD NOT PAY THAT BILL. In fact if you want a trained collector to deny payment, let me know and I will draft a letter for you.

I am sorry that your suckie ass RE office did this to you. It is horribly unfair. :(

 
At 1:16 PM, Blogger kati said...

what is so damn important about their protocols? And if they insist on those tests, then they should pay for them themselves. Argh, this is really maddening.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this shit on top of everything else.

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger goldmoon said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. My thoughts are with you, if that helps at all!!

 
At 2:56 PM, Blogger Stacy said...

Fuck the protocols.

 
At 5:19 PM, Anonymous Mary Scarlet said...

Oh God, DD, those jerks. These people have no brains, I hate it when they can't stop, and think for a moment. I agree you should NOT pay that bill. I'm sorry they had to draw this painful event out and make it even worse.

 
At 6:43 PM, Blogger soralis said...

I am really sorry you had to go through all that.

Take care

 
At 7:16 AM, Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

DD. FUCK! This sucks. I'm trying to catch up with blog reading, and this is the pits. I'm so sorry.

 

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