Friday, February 10, 2006

Not According to Plan

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I am struggling right now with our decision to not jump right into another IVF cycle. Up until today, I was optimistic that we really could do this on our own. My appointment with Perfect PA was uplifting and the FSH levels for CD3 were still within normal range as well as the Estradiol. PA even agreed that the leaky boobs-thing was probably nothing more than hormones, but to call if the discharge turned black or bloody (AS IF I would “call”! I’d be in the office, braless, within 5 minutes of discovering anything black OR bloody coming out of my boobs!)

I had a nice, normal period, reminiscent of the months before I ever had my first stimulated cycle. I bought a package of OPK and put a new blade in my razor (my legs have taken on the characteristics of a giant tarantula), all in physical and mental preparation that we will not have a third person in the room assisting us in getting pregnant. I’ve even lost 8 lbs since October so now I am only a couple over my pre-pregnancy weight in 2001.

However, on Wednesday, which was CD8 I decided to use up one of the OPKs just to get a baseline reading of where I was. My prior cycles during our treatments had been shorter than normal, running about 26 days. Before stims, I was a normal 28-day-cycle-kind-of-girl. The second line on the OPK was visible, but barely. I decided not to test again until this morning, now CD10. No second line. I could almost imagine the second line, but really, there wasn’t one.

I called the clinic and asked if it was possible for me not to ovulate for the 2nd month in a row after the IVF. Nurse Bitch said most women go back to a normal cycle by this time, but some do not. She said it’s possible I already ovulated, or that I may not ovulate at all (can we say "waffle"?) If over the next couple of days, I don’t read a surge, I’m supposed to let them know as I may have to go back on some type of stim for next month…if I don’t end up convincing not only myself but Mr. DD that this whole business of trying on our own is just not going to work.

I’m more than just stressed. I’m feeling a little frantic as this new development comes when I was just pumping myself up mentally that we REALLY could get pregnant within the next couple of months and have a baby by year end. My little bubbles of Hope are bursting as fast as the little Infertility Bitch-Fairy can pop them.

Let’s all chant together: “It could still happen. It could still happen. It could still happen. It could still happen.”

It could still happen.........................right?

7 Punches:

At 7:25 AM, Blogger Cricket said...

Wow, you read my OPKs this month. Same pattern, except I did them daily from day 7 or so. It will be my next blog entry. Perhaps you saw the tail of your LH surge, which is what I think happened to me. At least you have doctors willing to try to fix things and it's really good to have the knowledge for them to use.

You still can, of course, but now you have extra clues to help. That's a good thing.

 
At 7:45 AM, Anonymous Erin said...

Yes ... it still can happen.

We're rooting for you!

 
At 8:42 AM, Anonymous Kris said...

It can definitely still happen. I think Cricket is right, you may have just waited a little too long this month. But I would test the next day or two just to be sure...

Don't forget- you've gotten pregnant the romantic way before. So let X remind you not to give up hope! =)

 
At 10:04 AM, Blogger Nico said...

It totally could still happen. When I used OPKs in my last cycle they were quite variable - I would see a faint second line one day, then nothing the next... it bumped around for quite a while. Definitely not a smooth road to the top.

Have you been temping as well, to see if you have already ovulated or not?

 
At 11:01 AM, Anonymous Kim said...

I had a very nice comment and then blogger lost it for me.
Anyhow, I wanted to say yes it can still happen, just remeber that it has happened before. Try and go back to the bliss you has before you even knew there was a problem and let it flow. You yourself said sometimes taking a break is the thing that works so give it an earnest shot and see where you get. Regardless best of luck!!!

 
At 1:45 PM, Blogger DinosaurD said...

“It could still happen. It could still happen. It could still happen. It could still happen.”

Still chanting

DinoD

 
At 6:48 PM, Blogger The Queen Mama said...

It COULD still happen.

Really, there are so many countless variables that can affect ovulation and cycles from month to month.

Have you ever read "Fertility, Cycles and Nutrition." I can't think of the author right now, but you could probably find it through Amazon or through ccli.org. There might be some new information in there for you.

 

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