Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Don't Screw With Me, Daddy

Yep, that’s what he said. My angel-faced 4 year old expressed himself quite clearly last night during supper to Mr. DD…or did he?

Actually it was my fault. Mr. DD was hounding X about eating his supper and removing his hot wheels from the table, “No toys allowed while we are eating.” I figured Mr. DD should cut some slack as he was sitting at the counter eating his supper while X and I were at the table. So in defense of X’s small heard of toy cars, I told Mr. DD to “stop screwing with X,” to which X repeated the magical phrase above.

Mr. DD was a little bent from the exchange, but I quickly diffused the issue by explaining to X that I shouldn’t have said that and it was my fault and I apologized. The problem Mr. DD doesn’t realize is that if he should have just laughed it off, (like I did because it really was pretty frickin funny, but I was cut short when Mr. DD’s face started turning red), or better yet, ignored it, because X obviously didn’t even know what he was saying, but just repeating what I had said.

This is only the second thing we have ever heard X say that we would consider inappropriate. The first was “Shut Up.” Considering how much we swear around him even though we try REALLY hard not to, this has been a minor miracle. Shut Up was met with immediate punishment so now when I am talking to a friend who may say something outrageous and I respond with, “Shut up!”, X is right there with a frightened and concerned look as he whispers, “Mommy, you said…shut up.” *Gasp* the horror! In turn, I must apologize to the recipient of my mock Shut Up and get approval from X to continue my adult play-date.

I recently saw a national news show do a brief spot on profanity. Why do we swear? I know why I swear. One side says it’s because we have lost the ability to communicate our expressions and opinions clearly and appropriately without offending another’s delicate sensibilities. However, I just don’t believe that someone can relay the immediate frustration and pain of stubbing their toe on the leg of a dining room chair with, “Oh my! I am in pain as I have just suddenly stubbed my toe oh-so-clumsily on this unobtrusive, yet hard wooden object!”

Nope. For me, nothing feels better than saying, “fuckingsonofabitch!” and then following that with some additional profanity directed at Mr. DD who stupidly didn’t push the chair back under the table where it belongs. I don’t think I could express myself any clearer than that.

8 Punches:

At 10:25 AM, Blogger Catizhere said...

Welcome to my world!!!
Looks like you spoke too soon huh??
At least he didn't say anything worse.

We have the dinner table discussion EVERY night.
Joe can't STAND when she plays with her food or refuses to sit up straight... I like a "lively" dinner table. With conversation, laughter & the occasional food game. He's all business at the table. Light conversation, but no fun.

After our weekend, I see that I need to find some "clean" cuss-words. Fiddlesticks!! Oh, FUDGE!!
Or Maybe I can swear like Joe Piscipo in "Johhny Dangerously"
fargin' iceholes...sons of da bastages...

At 10:35 AM, Anonymous Kris said...

Yeah, I would have bust up laughing. I'm horrible at keeping a straight face when a kid does something "naughty" that's really just way too funny...

Cutting out the swearing around here will be VERY difficult when the time comes... But I guess I can keep myself good around my parents and my neices and nephew, so there's a chance, right?

At 10:39 AM, Anonymous mm said...

I swear for fun! What's more amusing than saying goddamnedcocksuckerfuckingshit? Not much.

At 12:04 PM, Blogger Cricket said...

There are lots of swear words flying around here all the time. I remember the first time I swore - saying 'shit' as my mother was trying unsuccessfully to open the front door. She'd said it the last time she couldn't get the proper key in the lock, so I said it for her the next time. I was about 4 and I couldn't understand why she could be mad and laughing at me at the same time.

My son is master of language nuances; he doesn't repeat stuff after me, but he definitely knows the words he's not supposed to repeat to my face. I think he says them in the neighborhood, which is fine, as he needs to unsweeten himself a bit for the world out there. He doesn't say them in school, either, so I do believe they catch on when it is appropriate to cuss early in life.

At 4:49 PM, Blogger DinosaurD said...

I love it (that's a vote for laughing at X's phraseology).
Arrghh - they are such literal creatures at times. My son and I had a discussion about it not being "nice" to talk about things being "ugly" in absolute terms - beauty being in the eye of the beholder and all that stuff. Now I know that this is all beyond his understanding but sometimes our conversations just devolve and take on a life of their own.
Now, if I use the phrase "that's just ugly" (for example about political events) I get a lecture from a 5 year old about my vocabulary selection.
He must think I am slow as I just don't seem to "get" it.

At 6:28 AM, Anonymous Erin said...

There is something about swearing -- it just feels soooo good sometimes.

At 10:34 AM, Blogger Demeter said...

I wish English was my first language, then I would feel with more intensity the power of the swear word. However there is hope, I love swearing in my language although no one would really understand. Then again, this could be a great technique for kids not to repeat foul language.

At 1:12 PM, Blogger Spanglish said...

I love to swear. Before I started teaching I had to practice an entire summer to curb the language.


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