Monday, January 23, 2006

Warming Up The Second String

Since I found out that the "IVF That Worked" didn't, I have resigned myself to just sitting back, trying to stay calm and seeing what will happen with the FET. But this afternoon, it has hit home, and hit hard, and my nerves have suddenly unraveled.

I just got back from lunch to see I had some voicemail. It was Nurse W. from the clinic and I was to call her back. I really thought I wouldn't hear anything today as the thaw was just supposed to start. I figured I would be getting the updates every 24 hours starting tomorrow and a call so soon could not be good.

Instead I found that when I called them back that one of the four embryos has been cut from the second string and shriveled up and died, thereby getting cut from the team. So already I am down to three. Is it really possible that all three could possibly make it until Wednesday or even Thursday?

Several months ago, before I realized how difficult this was going to be for me emotionally, I came across an internet article about a doctor who was working with IF patients and their struggle for not just good physical well-being, but mental health as well. He would keep the patients on the minimum dosage of, let's say, we11butr,n during the 2WW post IUI/IVF. He figured that keeping the patient mentally sound during that time considerably outweighed the very minimum risk the patient/fetus would be exposed to during such early conception. His patients had a much better implantation success than those who did not take mental-health drugs.

Right now, I would really like to be part of that study...actually, I would settle for a comotose state of approximately 48 hours if that was at all possible.

11 Punches:

At 11:59 AM, Blogger Cricket said...

Cheer! Cheer! Rah! Rah! Rah!

And throw the girl a kegger.

At 12:08 PM, Blogger K&M said...

That sounds like a wonderful idea...a few happy pills can make a big difference. I really hope the warm up goes well and transfer is a big success.

At 12:48 PM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Most of the literature indicates that it takes 2 weeks for anti-depressants to kick in. Maybe it's the placebo effect at work. I'd be fine with a 2 week supply of the lovely valium they pass out for transfer day though! Or, perhaps they could do the medically induced coma option - if you're pregnant they wake you up if not you get to go through the next cycle asleep.

At 1:12 PM, Anonymous Kris said...

I'm with ya this week... So here's to calm & good luck for both of us!

At 2:07 PM, Blogger D said...

I know what you mean, during my IVF cycle I wanted to fall asleep and have someone wake me when it was all over - I actually fantasized about that.

At 2:16 PM, Anonymous Leggy said...

I hope your other 3 continue to grow, grow, grow.

Its a hard, stressful time right on the backs of an already hard, stressful time.

At 2:34 PM, Blogger Suz said...

You know, the meds don't sound like a bad idea at all. I remember often wishing that I could just "check out" during the cycle and wake up when it was over. Take care of yourself.

At 2:36 PM, Blogger Spanglish said...

I hate when they shrivel. It's so heartbreaking.

I'll keep your triplets in my thoughts.

Hang on.

At 6:14 AM, Blogger Nico said...

How nervewracking it must be sitting and waiting to find out how many embryos survive. Hopefully the remaining three will grow like blockbusters!

At 6:34 AM, Blogger Catizhere said...

Did the study mention anything about a glass or six of wine????

Keep on with the good happy thoughts.

At 7:22 AM, Blogger The Queen Mama said...

I can't even imagine how difficult this must be on the ol' nerves. God, you have my sympathies.

Hang in there, dear!


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