Thursday, January 19, 2006

I'm a Cup-Cake...and That Isn't a Compliment

A few months ago I met someone who I first found to be a good foil for my laisser faire personality. She was logical, accurate, and a numbers-cruncher. She provided info that I thought made me look good and was being provided to me in my better interest.

I now am questioning the benefits of our relationship. Not only is she giving me info based on what others are doing, she is also providing info about me to the others. I knew that, but I just never realized the possible implications until recently.

Many of you have the same relationship because you advertise it on your blogs (if you have one) because I’m referring to Stat Counter (SC).

Before I had SC, I cried into my cereal daily bemoaning the futility of starting a blog and realizing that it’s nearly impossible for me to take the snark in my head and put it into print. There’s no place to announce to the world, “Hey, you! Are you bored? Are you interested in hearing about girly bits, periods, low counts/motility and occasionally peppered with stories that could be cute about a preschooler? Need something unproductive to do while working WITHOUT snorting coffee through your nose? Have I got a blog for you! It’s not all that interesting or funny, but what the heck! It’ll get you a reprieve in running that report AGAIN for your boss because he/she can’t find the last 5 you gave them!” So I would check my profile daily (hourly) to see if anyone had been to my blog.

Then B. Mare posted some questions she had about Stat Counter and she provided what I thought was the magical link of knowledge. My head blew up to the size of a Macy’s Parade balloon when miraculously I stumbled across the answer to one of her questions and she personally thanked me for my brilliance. A day of reckoning!

In those following days/weeks/months after I had added Stat Counter to my blog, I found some solace that even though you weren’t commenting, you were coming to see me. I was at peace…for a while.

Then this past weekend, someone shot a .22 into my big, fat, over-inflated head. Who? Who you ask indignantly, would do such a thing? Well, * looking side-to-side and over my shoulder* it was…

ME! ..::gasp!::..

Oh, the horror of it all!

The events unfolded as such: I was on visiting of “those” Blogs where I normally just read/lurk because She normally gets about 999 comments per post and I figure, who the hell is reading these, because I sure the hell don’t have time to read through all those comments, and really, they all sound the same, don’t they? But I stepped over the line and felt I had something to contribute and did so.

Imagine my complete surprise when SC told me within the next 24 hours, the number of visits I normally get daily nearly doubled to 10 (Ok, it was more like 80). In one day. Guess where they were coming from? They were being referred from my comment on The Blog. Guess how many comments and emails I received from all those new visitors?

Not. A. One.

And only two days past the warm-fuzzy and inspirational event of National De-Lurking Week. But then, I thought, why would anyone who is a reg to The Blog who then jumps to mine even feel like commenting? That would be like having to make a choice between a huge, beautiful wedding cake and an unfrosted cup-cake with the paper wrapper still on it. Which one are you going to pine for? If you only have enough room (aka snark) for one bite, you certainly aren’t going to waste it on the cup-cake, are you?

Oh well.

So, I have discovered the double-edged sword that is called Stat Counter, for which I now have a love/hate relationship with.

And let me just say for the record: this is not an attempt, lame as it may be to get you to comment. Being of rebellious nature, those types of posts have the opposite effect on me and I refused to be cajoled into commenting. …but if you are just dieing to leave your 2 cents, I wouldn’t hold it against you for being such a pushover.

Just look out for my big-ass head in next year’s Macy’s Parade.

14 Punches:

At 9:32 AM, Anonymous Lala said...

I know that pain. When I surf Blogexplosion to see what's out there and get back to see of course my traffic has surged but it's all MEANINGLESS because it's just people clicking through like me. Do NONE of those people have anything nice to say?? Hell no.

At 9:36 AM, Anonymous Molly said...

Ah yes, I saw your comment over at Julie's. How brave of you!

We're all comment whores at heart. It's just a fact of life.

At 9:50 AM, Anonymous Leggy said...

OMG- I've gotten all kinds of hits from Julie's place. Particularly since I trackbacked.

Don't fret- a lot of people do read, but feel like they don't know what to say. I've realized over the last few weeks that there are quite a few people that read that I didn't realize would read.

Think of it as an opportunity to find a few new readers, not to be depressed because the vast majority come for a short visit and then go on their merry way.

Did you see she quoted you (and me too, but this is all about you) in her latest post? Talk about feeling like a rock star.

At 10:11 AM, Anonymous Alexa said...

I remember when I first started my blog and figured out Trackback--I had never even gotten a comment at that point, I think. I ionnocently tracked back to a post of Grrl's and my stats exploded. I got so nervous knowing that people were now *reading my blog* that I was afraid to post, for fear of sounding foolish. I have since gotten over that, obviously.

At 10:22 AM, Blogger Catizhere said...

I think thats why I don't have a counter. I'm perfectly content knowing that 4 people out there are interested in me, (You LIKE me, you REALLY LIKE ME!!)

There's a bunch of really "popular gals" out there who I read & occasionally, just occasionally leave a comment, knowing that they probably don't read all 999 comments & take the time to respond to each. I tend to stick to my "friends" and have a sort of clique with the 4 or 5 of you....

At 12:21 PM, Blogger Cricket said...

Honey, that's what I look at as being a benefit of commenting elsewhere. I am sticking my little turtle head out, offering my support, snark, and visibility. Often times, the visitors I get as a result are repeat, they just hadn't been around in a while.

When Julie mentioned me in November, I got over 3000 hits in a day, with close to 2000 the day before and after. As I bemoaned indirectly recently, that post had 19 total comments (off of over 10,000 hits), at least 1/3 of the comments being from me. The post sort of took on a life of its own with it being referenced in a couple other venues, but that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me being referenced elsewhere first. Still, 99.9% just cruised through, even tho they were interested enough to look at other internal links.

That's my motto now: throw the dog a bone. It goes both ways, being mentioned and mentioning others. Now, of course, nobody has told me they've gotten a flood off my me mentioning them, but I do it anyway. I do, however like you mentioned, hesitate to comment when I'll be the 453rd comment in a row. Alas, you've proven that philosophy wrong.

At 12:30 PM, Blogger DD said...

Well, I certainly hung myself out on that one, huh? I had no idea that she had quoted me on her recent post. That makes me a bit of an ass, doesn't it?

Well, now it appears I have shot my wad. That's it. I've been quoted and what? I better start working on my Tony acceptance speech for best "Woe Is Me!" performance!

At 1:40 PM, Blogger scissorbill said...

Clearly you comment-I saw your comment at A Little Pregnant too. I always read, rarely comment because I feel like I have nothing of value to add.

At 2:06 PM, Blogger Demeter said...

What really matters is that when you read a blog, you either learn something about that person, or you or both, or that somehow their blog contributed to your life even in as much as a tini tiny way. Who cares to read about people we don't really know or don't feel that we relate at any level? And by the way, thanks for your warm comments. You seem sincere.

At 5:11 PM, Blogger Spanglish said...

I have no idea how many people look at my site. I don't know how to trackback, and don't have a stats counter, but I often wonder how many people pass through.

When I had my other site, before I spent ALL my money and tons of my father's money on IF treatment, I had the same people who always commented. When I started my new site post-IVF failure all of a sudden new names are showing up. It's odd the way the readership changes... and odd the times people decide to de-lurk and sympathize or whatever.

Maybe I'll learn to trackback someday, but for now I'm fine leaving that pandora's box closed and latched.

At 6:48 AM, Anonymous Erin said...

Commenting and getting comments is such a double-edged sword.

On one hand, it's nice to know people are reading. On the other hand, it's nice feeling free to write raw, because nobody is looking (you think.)

At 7:34 AM, Anonymous Kris said...

Yeah, I feel your pain- I typically only comment on sites where there aren't aleady a lot of comments, because I figure if hundreds of people already commented, it's really not worth it.

I was very impressed that your comment was the first one she listed! =)

At 7:57 AM, Blogger The Queen Mama said...

DD, I think you are quite the cupcake. Frosted with pretty pink sprinkles. So there. And not everybody likes wedding cake. Have I mangled your metaphor to death yet?
I had been considering getting a stats counter. Because I'm always curious about how many people are stopping by. Now I'm thinking ignorance is bliss...
Keep plugging away!

At 6:19 AM, Blogger DrSpouse said...

I get loads of visits from Big And Famous Blogs but don't get any comments. However, one of them has linked to me on her list..


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