Monday, October 24, 2005

Letter%men's Top 10: Why Dawn is Mad at Jerry

Today is the first day of Jerry's week-long vacation, which he had to take from his employer before the end of the month or lose it. I get home from work, and I nearly took off his head. Here's why:

10. He didn't mow the yard, and the house is starting to look abandoned, which would be perfect if I was going for the look of the season: haunted.

9. He can't seem to get his socks into the laundry basket (that or the basket spontaneously pukes them out).

8. He snores, even though we paid for the removal of two healthy tonsils and a LAUP, which completely grosses out his dental hygenist.

7. I have to prompt him to acknowledge his son when Max says, "Daddy? Daddy? Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?"

6. He spent the weekend in Minnesota enjoying some male-bonding and his hobby, RC Racing and came home complaining about how tired he was. Boo hoo.

5. The dishwasher wasn't emptied, but was opened because couldn't find a clean sippy cup for Max.

4. The clean clothes I had folded and left in the laundry basket were still sitting in the laundry basket...underneath our fat, long-haired psychotic cat, who happens to be molting.

3. He said I can't be on the computer because earlier I had been complaining about how tired I am. Excuse me? Just who the F**k do you think you're talking to? I'm 38 years old. I'll do whatever I damn well please, thank you.

2. He still hasn't figured out how to sort the dirty laundry into the three bins. It's the same system we have had since 1997, and all his clothes go into the ONE bin. Duh!

And the number one reason Dawn is mad at Jerry...?

1. He doesn't think it's necessary to meet with our RE tomorrow, "Why can't she just talk to us on the phone?" Oh, I don't know...maybe because it's really flippin' important, you thoughtless boob!

6 Punches:

At 5:00 AM, Anonymous thalia said...

So sorry that your husband is being an ass. It's a male thing, they have to do it sometimes. It's in their DNA, or their secret handshake, or something. Drag him along tomorrow, he'll get it eventually

At 7:21 AM, Blogger Catizhere said...

Thalia's right about the Male Thing... We also have the 3 basket method (HIS idea), yet Joe's clothes end up in a heap next to the bed...

At 6:46 PM, Blogger Big Mama said...

Oh I am so feeling you on the husband-being-another-child syndrome. I have one of my own. Cute as can be and I promised to love him forever. I just never realized that forever would be such a loooonnng time. Good luck and remember, all that read you blog can relate in one way or another. Undies on the door handle in the bathroom are just gross (trust me on that one)...

At 6:14 AM, Anonymous joie said...

I think men are missing the "sorting the laundry INTO the basket" gene. My husband rides his bike to/from work. I love what it does for his ass, but it also means he changes clothes at least three times a day. He throws it all either on the bedroom or laundry room floor. But, he does clean the kitchen!

At 10:21 AM, Anonymous mm said...

Argh!! Men are such morons most of the time. The socks thing wouldn't bother me so much, but then again, I'm the slob at Casa Limboparty. I drive my husband insane with my cleaning techniques or lack thereof. But the whole wanting to talk to the RE over the phone when you've gone to the trouble of securing an appt thing? Maddening, I tell you!! I so hope that the appt was productive and that he went willingly and you didn't have to resort to any extreme measures!!

At 12:10 PM, Anonymous B. Mare said...

I confess Number 10 in particular made me giggle... he needs a *bap* upside the head.


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